I told my mom this morning at "brekke" (that's breakfast, in Australian) that I have inherited her curse - the curse that I like to call "Multinformatationnoyingness". It's when you talk about things that happened multiple times to the same person with almost no recollection that you have told them before, thus provoking a somewhat annoyed response from the listener. I now feel bad for all the times I got on her case for telling me something 5 times because now I do it to Michael all the time *reference point to a previous post where I mentioned patience*. I think it is just because my brain is stressed out lately. I had that huge unit due and so my brain basically shut down for a few weeks to anything other than school... and now it's gasping for air as it resurfaces from the deep dark abyss.
Lately, however, I've been realizing how appropriate this teaching job is for me. Regardless of the seemingly endless benchmarks and standards mandated by the Government, and regardless of school politics and the hoops you have to jump through, I have to say that I am genuinely sure that teaching was the right choice for me. It gives me the flexibility I need to live the life I've always dreamed of (and now share the dream of) living.
Ultimately, it's not so much about teaching as it is about influencing the lives of students in a positive way. It isn't about rules and meeting criteria, although I am by no means negating the importance of such things, but it is about enrichment and
encouragement to become whole and productive members of society, whatever that may mean for each individual student. True, kids should learn how to write properly and they should be able to spell things correctly, but ultimately those things are tools that give the students the ability to express themselves and their thoughts and opinions, which are both key parts of teaching - encouraging the students to HAVE thoughts and opinions of their own. That is why I chose English in the first place - because people write in response to something that is moving them deep down inside. If people don't have desire, drive, passion, then they have no reason to write and therefore they don't. Good. Good riddance. I don't want to read anything that a mindless fool would write anyway because ultimately it is unsatisfying and pointless.Granted, not all students are meant to be writers and I would never expect for them to all produce poignant and provocative essays that challenge the thought processes of those who read their words, but it is for the few that DO express themselves in such a way and whose words will reform the thoughts and ideas that have become dull. Without a source of input, the pond of thought becomes stagnant, polluted, and dead. I hope to be the inspiration and helping hand that brings new water and inspiration to help this natural process along.
And, ultimately, I want to be able have children and be there to raise them and then be able to go back to work whenever I feel like I am ready, and still have a job to go back to. Essentially, it fits my future. *sigh* I just want my future to be my right now.
