wisdom in abundance to impart on young minds (*sarcasm*)

So, here's a little update, since I've left you all so ravenously lonely with my extended absence... (sarcasm)
I told my mom this morning at "brekke" (that's breakfast, in Australian) that I have inherited her curse - the curse that I like to call "Multinformatationnoyingness". It's when you talk about things that happened multiple times to the same person with almost no recollection that you have told them before, thus provoking a somewhat annoyed response from the listener. I now feel bad for all the times I got on her case for telling me something 5 times because now I do it to Michael all the time *reference point to a previous post where I mentioned patience*. I think it is just because my brain is stressed out lately. I had that huge unit due and so my brain basically shut down for a few weeks to anything other than school... and now it's gasping for air as it resurfaces from the deep dark abyss.
Lately, however, I've been realizing how appropriate this teaching job is for me. Regardless of the seemingly endless benchmarks and standards mandated by the Government, and regardless of school politics and the hoops you have to jump through, I have to say that I am genuinely sure that teaching was the right choice for me. It gives me the flexibility I need to live the life I've always dreamed of (and now share the dream of) living.
Ultimately, it's not so much about teaching as it is about influencing the lives of students in a positive way. It isn't about rules and meeting criteria, although I am by no means negating the importance of such things, but it is about enrichment and encouragement to become whole and productive members of society, whatever that may mean for each individual student. True, kids should learn how to write properly and they should be able to spell things correctly, but ultimately those things are tools that give the students the ability to express themselves and their thoughts and opinions, which are both key parts of teaching - encouraging the students to HAVE thoughts and opinions of their own. That is why I chose English in the first place - because people write in response to something that is moving them deep down inside. If people don't have desire, drive, passion, then they have no reason to write and therefore they don't. Good. Good riddance. I don't want to read anything that a mindless fool would write anyway because ultimately it is unsatisfying and pointless.
Granted, not all students are meant to be writers and I would never expect for them to all produce poignant and provocative essays that challenge the thought processes of those who read their words, but it is for the few that DO express themselves in such a way and whose words will reform the thoughts and ideas that have become dull. Without a source of input, the pond of thought becomes stagnant, polluted, and dead. I hope to be the inspiration and helping hand that brings new water and inspiration to help this natural process along.
And, ultimately, I want to be able have children and be there to raise them and then be able to go back to work whenever I feel like I am ready, and still have a job to go back to. Essentially, it fits my future. *sigh* I just want my future to be my right now.

Let me introduce you to my new family!!!

So, for those of you who are not yet informed, my parents are (and have been)living in Brisbane, Australia. My dad works there and will probably be there for quite a while longer. My mom moved out there a few months ago and loves it, so I doubt she'll be back anytime soon, too! So, with my real family being gone, I have been getting closer and closer to Michael's family. Over the last 6 months they have slowly become like real family to me - we even spent thanksgiving together! So, I feel that it is only right that I introduce you to them!
Meet Patty!!!
She will HAVE MY NECK if she finds out that I put this picture up, but it is the perfect picture - she absolutely loves me and I absolutely love her back!!! Michael and I go over for dinner occasionally, I'm baking her cookies today, she likes to giggle and whisper with me about things Michael does, she affirms me in so many ways, and she is so excited about Michael and I's relationship. She is always noticing things and, like a real mom, is always asking me how I am and if I need anything. I am always welcome to her apartment whenever, on short notice, or on no notice at all... with or without her son lol!!! She is the best!

Meet Tracy and John!

Tracy is Michael's older sister and John is her husband - relative newlyweds - like a year and some... Tracy was homecoming queen her senior year and I understand completely why! She is bubbly, exciting, funny, burps like a pro (in this family, that's a MUST) and she is very smart - an English major *wink* working on her masters. They live in Ypsilanti, Michigan, so I don't get to spend as much time with them as I would like, but it is good when they're around. In case you were wondering, yes... we are playing aggravation in this picture.. it was a very intense game!!

The only one I don't have a picture of is Michael's dad, Gary. He isn't around a lot because he drives a truck all around the country. But he is the type that when he is home you know it! lol - he cracks me up! He's so serious about everything and he is always getting on your case about something that you either didn't do at all, didn't do right, or didn't do well enough!! He's a gruff guy but you can tell sometimes that he is really just a softy deep down.. you can see it in his eyes when I make him laugh. He is very smart, though, and is always looking to find how something can be improved or wants to build something. He slightly reminds me of my own dad, but I think that's just something that dads develop - that "dad" quality...

So, now you've met them. Aren't they wonderful? I think so, too!

Oh, you want one more picture do you? OK. - Thanksgiving at Uncle Craig's house:

Bonn Appetite!

a roundabout way of saying it...

So the obligatory topic for thanksgiving (and its surrounding days) seems to be one of giving thanks... a no brainer, right? so, as you would have guessed if you know me even just a little bit, I will not be posting about what I am thankful for; at least not directly. Actually, I'm not sure that I have much of importance to convey through this medium today, although it always seems that way at first and then veers toward some overarching life lesson that lurks in the shadows, waiting to attack.
I've been writing more lately. I guess I’ve felt inspired. Usually I can't even say what I want to say during everyday speech, let alone have words left over that actually help me get out what is buried deep down. I also have this huge desire for company lately. I can't seem to stand being alone for any amount of time... it drives me crazy! I'll be alone for a whole day and it's like a dark fog comes over me and I struggle and struggle to get out. Michael really helps with this. We've been spending a lot of quality time together and for some reason just his presence makes me feel so much better. He's my lighthouse.
I've always had a really hard time letting people in to that part of me that I hold so close and protect so fiercely. I was reminded the other day of a certain unnamed relationship that I struggled with for a very long time. It took months but I finally let him in and when he left, albeit my own fault, it tore me to pieces. During that period of pain and hurting I was reassured over and over again that I would find someone else - someone better, someone more understanding and more patient (which is something that I have found that I really need), and someone who would love me for who I am without a second thought. For the longest time I doubted and struggled, but no more. I have found my safe harbor, my rest and my comfort, the one who I share all of myself with, and the one that I feel completely protected by. The lessons I learned from that past relationship stick with me but, for once, the pain is gone. I have hope and I feel trust and I love deeper than I knew I could. I am happy. As silly and trivial as that may sound right now, I am happy. And, subsequently, very very thankful for this new page in my life.

You would think winter would freeze things the way they are...

A lot of times I wonder about "what's next"... it seems to be something that has plagued me for the last, oh, 22 years - however, lately I've been experiencing a lot of different things that are teaching me (or forcing me) to enjoy life as I live it. I've always been a touch unhappy or perhaps unsettled in my life because I have always wanted to take the next step and see the next path and ultimately that has left me with the regret of not grabbing hold of the things that are happening right around me - the twinge of guilt that you feel after you can't go back. So, in essence, I think that this blog will be a celebration of sorts. A celebration of things that have happened that I did not "miss" and a sort of inspiration for the future.

...breathtaking mountain skylines in Australia...

... early sunrises in hawaii ...

...climbing a mountain in Australia with the 'rents....

...feeding a kangaroo?!?!...

...growing learning and exploring together with my love...

...spending quality time with my girls...

...being as silly as possible...

...enjoying the way the seasons change...

... watching beautiful sunsets at the house...

...wanting to never let go of friends...

...pretending we are more important than we are...


...not caring how silly we may act...

... and laughing uncontrollably...

At points, I wish I could go back to those moments, not to change them in any way but to experience them again now that I realize the preciousness of them. I assume everyone feels this way at one point of another. This is, after all, just the beginning of my life, and things are going to get a lot more interesting from here on out, so I'll count it as a lesson learned.

My decline from facebook (an official boycott)

On principle alone I am boycotting facebook. It has become a brothel and a breeding ground for rampant stupidity and immaturity and I will have nothing to do with it! One realizes that when she has a sheep thrown at her or when she sees others joining a group that promotes the glorification of the neckwear of a certain person as the highlight of one's existence; she realizes the inane pointlessness of it all.

Who cares if you "buy" me an "egg" and it "hatches" to become a "tiger"? Who cares if you can vote on someone's profile how hot they are? Who cares about the "birthday cupcake" that is really just a .jpg file that they attach to someone's profile as a "gift" from you bought by linking your credit card online to a billion-person-networking website that most likely gets hacked multiple times a day by people in multiple countries around the globe. I don't care if people compare me to other people and find me to be "most popular" or "most kissable"... and I don't care about seeing how people have re-arranged your magnetic words to make some profound(ly stupid) phrase on your profile. And then, on top of that, I must wade through (and be constantly accosted by) all of these "applications" that I loathe so much just to get to the ONE PART of someone's profile that I want so that I can leave them a message or contact them. I'm sure there's a lawsuit in there somewhere....

Whenever I log on, I feel like I'm being dumbed down each time. The entire purpose of Facebook (at least for me in the beginning) has been prostituted and then massacred. Sure, I'd love to look at your pictures of your engagement! I'd love to get a message from you or have you comment on my site or on one of my pictures but that's about as far as I go. So, from now on if my friends would like to contact me and get any sort of significant response, they have do do it through HERE!

I assured them that if they were ANYTHING like me they would instantly see that Blogger is a more mature and purposeful site that isn't clogged like Middle Schooler's pores with people who seek only to propagate their lives in what feels more and more like a Disney TV show every day.

So, in essence, I've been swayed, won over, converted, refitted, reformed, transformed, corrected AND fixed. Congratulations, blogger, on another victory!

So I started anew...

So I think I have officially been swayed. I will write more about this later when I DON'T have to leave the house in 5 minutes and haven't even gotten ready yet (good thing it doesn't take me much time!)... but the main reason is the juvenile feel to websites like MySpace, Xanga, and Facebook which don't seem to support (at least to me) any sort of thought-provoking or intentional writing. I suppose that I resemble my father in that way - plus, I can't stand reading mindless babbling all day long. People are constantly joining these absolutely ridiculous groups where you can grow plants from eggs, other groups where you can throw a sheep at people, and even more - there are groups that you can join on the most incredible subjects, my favorites include: "funny things to do in an elevator", "i lost my cell phone and need your number back!!!" and my personal favorite "Tom Emigh's bowtie is the highlight of my day!"... for those of you who don't know Tom Emigh, count yourself lucky. Anyway, all that to say that I am now here. This blog is where i will do my writing, keep you (really, myself) updated on what is going on in my life, post some of my musing (possibly for critical review) and just kind of let off steam here and there. So, leave me a comment if you have read this. I will post something a bit more substantial later. <3, Bethany Cramblet